most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later
How did it come to this? I’m gagging at the thought of someone else’s lips on your’s and on mine. It aches to be touched just as much as it aches thinking about you being touched. I can’t keep up with my feelings anymore. I stared at a wall for two hours today. I don’t listen to the same music anymore. I keep getting caught up in these whirlwinds of drugs&alcohol, I feel as dirty&cheap&trashy as my mom said I would if I continued down this path. I don’t think I’ll ever stop talking out of my ass, idk who’s even talking half the time. I watch everyone else going through their day, communicating so easily while i just hope a smile and a smart comeback will help me blend. It’s so internalized i think if i tried to explain it someone would think i was talking about a different person. Im progressing in life, but inside its just this battle that got at its bloodiest last year and its just been up and down ever since. My entire life is going to be this struggle of pursuing happiness¬ letting my thoughts get out of hand. Im just tired of it tonight.